A Butterfly In November and Saturn Returns
When a new client commissions a Reading at The Red Table in Watkins Books, Charing Cross Road London usually the first question that I ask is What brings you here and how would you like to feel when you leave? Over the six years or so that I have worked in this role I notice a common theme. Clients most often arrive because they are seeking insight or reassurance whilst they are “In the Place In-between”. That’s in between jobs, or careers, in-between relationships or any other place in which they do not feel grounded or clear. I understand part of my job to be that of offering realignment and insight.
Like any one else I am not immune to restlessness and curiosity when I have noticed that I am out of alignment and the road before me has become unclear. However besides consulting a Seeress I have now learnt that if I ask Spirit cleanly enough and read the road correctly I can get profound insight which now comes pretty quickly and at a far more interconnected way than when I first started on my path. And sometimes it can be quite amusing. I like that the universe has a good sense of humour; even if that sense of humour is apparently designed to poke fun at me.
By the 17th of November 2018 I had finally learnt to take my work more seriously and have more trust. These simple steps allow me to feel more held and less prone to swinging in and out of despair. But its grey brooding November. The veils between the worlds are thin; many of my clients; friends, family come to me with tales of woe; in which the world appeared grey; or unclear. Where Next? Where next indeed? The problem is that I too feel dull and disconnected. The opening words of Jane Eyre come to my mind “There was no possibility of taking a walk that day” The stillness of the season permeated my bones. I felt utterly stuck. And worst of all incapable of assisting anyone back into alignment.
Usually I have a pretty clear line to my personal Angel CB: But this time when I asked ‘What is happening ? I did not receive a reply from her. Instead I received an adventure; validation, a Gift, a healing, a task, realignment. Add to that a good laugh. This is what happened:
Sometimes when I put down my handbag and extract from it a pendulum; a crystal (currently a large piece of celestial healer) various pens; mascara; lipstick; a pack of angel tarot cards I am teased by my family and friends who tell me that I am like Mary Poppins. I do not disagree.
My current bag was shabby. But I was fond of it. I half wanted to upgrade and half didn’t. This time my handbag had contained my last 4 units of daily contact lens. Besides these, until the new supply arrived I only had my reading glasses. I am very short sighted. These lens mattered. But when I looked I could not find the strip of lens to use in my left eye. Big problem. I emptied the bag out. I searched. I shook my diary. In fact I shook everything in my handbag. No joy. I put these events down to the general misery that was my November. But I resolved there and then ‘That I needed a larger handbag’, one that would at least hold my laptop and have enough room that it could contain strips of contact lens without them getting lost.
Temporarily I used my right sided contact lens for each eye. I resigned my self to a fate of being grounded in two days time until the new lens arrived in the post. This did not put me in a good mood. And I was still concerned by my disconnect to Spirit and that I was not in a fit state to assist people back into alignment. Worst of all without the lens I might not be able to drive to London to do my most beloved Tuesday Watkins Shift.
I sat at my table and asked one more time “What is going on? Why am I disconnected? How can I Assist when I am feeling like this?” This time I did receive a reply of sorts immediately. I heard a rustling . I looked up. A beautiful butterfly was at the window beating against it trying to get out. I took a photo of the butterfly. I rescued the butterfly sending it out through the door into November. I marvelled. Where had that come from? Then I heard my Angel. I was told “You could have a rest? Leave your work for now. Have one day of complete rest. You could go to Kingsbridge?”. (A town in Devon adjacent to where I live)
In truth I was not that keen to go to Kingsbridge. I had become somewhat stern and judgemental. Why waste fuel and drive to Kingsbridge on a Jaunt? I had this to do. I had that to do. But the voice from my Angel was so insistent that I put The Patterdale Whose Name is Flo into the Car.
Flo and I drove along The (now restored) Coast Road. We went to Kingsbridge. I followed my nose. Through a charity shop window I saw an unused dinner service identical to that of my childhood home. It had trees etched upon it. I was reminded that however dire my childhood my mother had always tried to encourage me and to instil beauty in our lives. I bought my mother the unused dinner set. Whilst I was doing that I noticed my perfect bag. Again new. So new that it had its original tags. Large enough to hold my laptop and other assorted paraphernalia . The label read Saturn Arts and Fashion. The bag cost the same amount of money as the dinner set £4.50. I spent a total of £9.00 in the Charity Shop.
The energy and urge to be in Kingsbridge now deflated as quickly as the air in a popped balloon.
Flo and I returned home. I telephoned my mother and told her that I had our family dinner set as a gift for her. Considering that we had been estranged for ten years unable to speak without arguing and often not being in contact for months at a time this was healing. We had a good conversation. I think that she was pleased that I finally had to grace to say something positive about my childhood.
Curious (because I wanted to find out much the bag would have cost originally) I looked up Saturn Arts & Fashion on the internet. Indeed I had a handmade bag. No mention of the value but never mind. It was the Perfect Bag and could hold everything. Whilst I did that, in Google search; I saw mention of Saturn Return. I clicked. Ah that was what the trouble was. I am 58. I am still undergoing my second Saturn Return. This comes around every 29.5 years. No wonder I had felt restless. Of course things were going to change. The ground beneath my feet became strong again.
I also read how my star sign Taurus may be afflicted by laziness. I thought about posting the picture of the butterfly on my blog. Unfortunately because the windows were so dirty I felt to embarrassed to use the photo. I laughed at myself. I considered the possibility of cleaning the windows. I remembered the saying: “Before enlightenment chopping wood and carrying water; After enlightenment’ chopping wood and carrying water”. I did not give into the temptation of cleaning the windows. I transferred the contents of my old bag to my new bag. Picking up my pocket sized Zohar I discovered it contained the missing strip of contact lens. How did that happen? I had shaken everything in the bag?
Hurrah. I could go to London after all. I knew that whilst driving there I would marvel at the synchronicity of the Universe. I know that besides and as well as listening to Angels there are other wondrous ways of receiving messages loud and clear. Being back into realignment never felt better. I vowed to clean the windows tomorrow.