So this is a Case Note of how I was most wonderfully realigned (or put back in my place). And received verification (from Spirit), all at the same time.
The evening before my 57th birthday I watched Spirited Away (written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki). It is a most beautiful and unsettling film. Perhaps this was where my mood of negativity & lack started. Or perhaps it was the birthday looming; 57 suddenly felt old. Or maybe it was the fact that a small piece of enamel broke away from my tooth. It was one small piece of enamel; hardly the size of a crumb, yet in my mind it was a messenger heralding the disintegration of my whole mouth. And then again it was my birthday; how could I resist conducting my own past life review? From a place of joy compassion & love? Not really. From a place of lack, self criticism & judgement? Yes.
I am sure that you are getting the picture!
My sadness continued into the next day. And then deepened because despite lovely birthday messages sent by lovely friends; I did not hear anything from the person I most hoped to hear.
That same birthday evening I travelled to London from Totnes, in Devon, for my Tuesday work as an Angel Channeller (in Watkins Books, just off Charing Cross Road). I arrived at Waterloo Station @11.15 pm. Then I walked out of the station into the chaos of the night to catch the 172 to my B & B.
But within the chaos lay a synchronicity: I sat at the front of the bus. Lots of people came on behind me but I was in such a bad mood & my energy shield was so hostile that no one dared to sit next to me. Then a man clambered on; he was joyous & exuberant; lurching down the bus; walking with difficulty; partially because he had been drinking; but also because he was in a poor condition. His hair & beard scraggy & uncut; bones sharp through his face; not well dressed & smart; almost I thought a ‘gentleman of the road’. I judged him to be around 65 or 70.
This man sat down behind me & began speaking to his fellow passenger. I eavesdropped: He said “today is my birthday; Yes I was born on the 24th of April 1976”. There was love in his voice as he said it; I could hear that he had been loved by his mother; but I could not believe his age; He was only 41. He looked like he would not last out the year. Then there was the ‘coincidence’ that we shared birthdays. That felt pretty weird. He continued to chat: “My niece sent me £50 as a present; I put £10.00 on my Oyster card; usually I have to walk home. It takes me 3 hours”.
He was completely matter of fact. Not one trace of self pity; self judgement or lack. Despite myself I could feel my heart opening & warmth & love returning to my body. Then I heard him say “Oh F**k It … I am on the wrong bus; Never mind I might as well sleep here”.
This made me smile; had I not just spent the day thinking that “It’s my birthday & I am on the wrong bus”
When I left the bus just before midnight he was sleeping like a baby; head thrown back. There was an aura around him; he looked innocent & holy; like a Rabbi or a Saint; Or an Angel perhaps?
So this is how; at the edge of my new year; three minutes before the end of my birthday; I was given the gift of realignment. I came back to myself. And back to joy.