Do you remember reading Peter Pan & Wendy? And how when Peter lost his Shadow he was unable to fly?
In my last blog I had said that I was prepared to accept my Shadow. You know; I now realise that sometimes I bandy words about blithely; without thought. Accepting my Shadow? Doesn’t sound much does it?
Well, the outcome for me was the same as the outcome for Peter: Seeing my Shadow & bringing it to the light meant that for a while I felt that I was unable to fly. My joy flew away. My heart felt frozen.
Perhaps this was also due to major change & pain; We lost Eamonn (my good friend) to cancer this year: & also lost Lily The Patterdale Terrier; then my younger son comes soon to eighteen years; He becomes ready to fly (as is right & I will watch him go with joy & pride). My elder son has also grown and is establishing his ‘kingdom,’ in his own right. I observe his process also with pride & joy.
All this change felt as though it brought with it an unmaking of the person that I was. Holding & caring for a growing family (including a dog) has meant that I myself have been held. The process of illuminating my Shadow showed me that although I disliked much of what I saw in myself (trust me every one else’s Shadow is much more palatable than ones own) I now have a sense that it is time for less introspection & more doing. That the journeying has resulted in my finally growing into my own Self. And that like Peter Pan if I can reattach (integrate) my Shadow; I can truly accept my self and get on with things.
This brings me back to the photo above and the unthawing of my heart; I was invited to Tuscany for a few days; to stay in the shadow of Monte Pizzo Nino & Monte Pizzo d’Uccello (pictured above). To help plan for some residential workshops/courses to be held there in 2018. But when I first arrived; I thought that I was perhaps good for nothing. I was without drive and without joy.
Perhaps it was the kindness of the mountains; they felt potent & alive: Possibly it was the kindness of my friend. Or may be the universe was being its usual benevolent self but something brought me back and it only took a day or two. My heart melted & enthusiasm returned. I am relieved: I dislike living in a frozen hinterland.
Please don’t think that I have forgotten Eamonn or Lily the Patterdale Terrier. I miss them both more than I can ever say. But by a miracle I am ready to rejoin the Dance. Watch this space for details of the workshops/ courses: I will post them soon. If my experience is any thing to go by it’s going to be Magic!
Here is an Angel Reading for today:
“Do not lose faith: Even when you reach the place of death (in the cycle) life renews; Whilst giving birth to Self may be painful; if this process is refused or denied then joy, grace & benevolence might slip through your fingers”.
Dear Reader; Stay in your strength. Retain your joy. I send you wishes for a joyous day.